My First Solo Show as an Artist

The Morning of Reckoning

On Friday September 5th I woke up with an anxious knot in the pit of my stomach. I have spent the last week preparing but there are still a few things to do. I purposefully planned nothing to do this morning as a way to ensure I had time to take care of those last minute details that seem to always pop up. I have also spent the last year really getting to know myself and have learned that for days like today, I'm going to require some solid time by

myself to read or even watch my breathing as I fall asleep. Its something I desperately need to stay in control of my mental state. (I'm not trying to bite the heads off of the few people that are helping me because i'm nervous) It was the day of my first ever solo show as an artist and I wasn't allowing myself to be excited, not yet.

Is It Just a Dream

It was almost a year ago that I was asked if I wanted to partake in being the featured artist at Frames and Things. When we looked at the schedule there was quite a wait before there was an open month that could be mine. We settled on September and I quietly accepted that it probably wasn't going to happen. A repeating

pattern in my past is that people don't show up for me, I'm deemed less important so "maybe we should just wait to do it", or things just fall through. It didn't help that I had already tried working with another gallery in Temple that seemed excited to host a solo show for me but somehow we could never schedule it.

The Unexpected Call

Life went on; I kept creating, we moved, and my painting slowed as I spent the summer with my kids home from school settling into a new environment. Thats when I got a message in August. It was to confirm my show at Frames and Things in September. I was going to be the featured artist at their First Friday event and stay for the whole month.

I couldn't believe it, it's really happening!

The next month.

I'm having my own show.

Next month!

Oh sh*t...... I haven't been painting.

The Scramble to Prepare for my Solo Show

At that point, there wasn't much I could do in terms of planning and creating new paintings, other than a few small ones. So, I finished up what I was working on, including a piece I had started a year ago but never resolved, and assessed my inventory. Luckily the three paintings that were involved in Dallas shows over the summer were back home with me and prior to this summer, I had created quite a lot of paintings. I just needed to do some shuffling between the Sirril Art Gallery, The Mercantile, The Art Dept, and my house.

Thank goodness for the winter months where I seem to do nothing but paint.

I was going to have plenty of art for the show. What I didn't expect was to still be moving these paintings around the day of the show. So after my self care morning reading "Life Before Man" by Margot Attwood and a short nap, I got dressed and went on to deliver the last three paintings I would hang in my solo show. and just like that Mandi Murphy Colors of the Wild West, was ready.

Standing Alone in the Spotlight

I have been apart of quite a few of these artist receptions, always a group show. I didn't worry about attendance. There was sure to be a crowd brought on by these other artists and if no one came we could share in the disappointment, consoling each other with a pat on the back and a theres always next time.

But as I'm standing in front of the musician tuning his guitar and under the poster with my name and picture, I can't help but wonder who is going to come eat all of this food and drink all of this wine.

But it's ok I still haven't gotten excited.

Magic Begins to Unfold

As 6 0'clock rolled around something started happening. People showed up. A small crowd was forming and my friends came! The musician was laying it on thick with the guitar, people were gathering around to grab snacks and drinks. There was a raffle being offered. Then a woman bought a painting! I was greeted by people I had never met before. They wanted to talk about my art, get to know my process and inspiration. They wanted to share what my art meant to them. I sold prints! People asked me to autograph the prints, WHAT! It seemed like every time I turned around someone wanted to talk to me.

Ok now I'm a little excited.

The Perfect Evening

The raffle was held and people won door prizes. An author was at the event that read poems from his book and my friend running the event made a lovely speech about me and the other performers at the show.

I may be biased but I thought it was the best art show I had ever been to and i'm so lucky that it was mine. Had I just sold prints and benefited from the exposure I would have been over the moon but I had the privilege of seeing one of my original paintings find its home. I cannot express to you in words the way it feels to create something that you love, something that has never existed before, with tiny pieces of you in it and it find its person.

Lessons in Letting Go

In the end, I let myself be excited and to revile in the moment. I think maybe its time to let go of those trauma responses that hold me back from enjoying things. I have to stop expecting the worst all the time. I am not my past.

Thank you Frames and Things for the beautiful night! They really put on the best event and I would highly encourage everyone to check out their future art shows every first Friday of the month!